Strange Animal


The naked branches swayed to and fro as the wind softly soughed through the air. It was March 25th and Bojangles, an 80 year-old former CIA agent, was walking through the gentle wilderness of Stony Brook, New York. Bojangles was an expert in animal identification. That was his former job; to not only know every imaginable species of living beings, but to train and subsequently use certain animals as lethal weapons against evil communist people–such as the Russians.

“Those were the days, when we could shoot at Rusques for target practice. Now, I’m stuck with stupid, lame deer and rabbits.” Bojangles grunted to himself. A loud screeching sound echoed throughout the woods. The former CIA agent reached into his pants and pulled out his .45 colt magnum pistol. He was quite worried. The screeching sound became louder and louder, yet Bojangles could not locate its source. A small blot careened off the branch of a tree straight at Bojangles neck. Bojangles fired his powerful gun at the enigmatic thing coming straight at him, but did not hit his target.

A split second later, a furious scuffle took place on the soft, earthern forest floor. A tiny chipmunk was brutally clawing away at Bojangles neck while yelling: “you bastard, you did this to me”. You got that, the chipmunk was yelling. In one minute, the talking chipmunk had severed a major artery in Bojangles’ neck, leaving the latter to die instantly.

“Man, I’m sure glad I finally took out my revenge. It’s been forty years that I’ve been stuck in this little body. Getting it on with a fellow chipmunk does not compare to the wonders of a human woman.” said the odd chipmunk.

Unbenownst to the general public, the U.S. had extracted russian souls and imprisoned them in all sorts of animals’ bodies, using them as deadly, efficient weapons in toppling the Soviet Union. Unfortunately, for Bojangles, this process angered some of those former Russian Souls and he met his bloody end on a warm day in March.


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